Fresh Fruit

It was around August in 1987 I had my first night at the quite pleasant Mulgrave Motor Inn in suburban Melbourne, which was later to become my second home Inn for a time, but that's another story. Now for those that don't know that particular establishment, even twenty years later it is described as follows in it's promotional literature:

Mulgrave Motor Inn offers Comfortable, well appointed accommodation choices to suit all tastes and budgets as well as catering for single travellers to Families.

I suppose I must have been a "single traveller to Families" what ever that is, but anyway in the morning I popped down to the dining room for breakfast, as is my custom.

The menu had an item: "fresh fruit in season" and thinking I might be in for a rare treat, perhaps a serve of Victorian stone fruit or wild berries or something similarly exotic for one who had been raised in the tropics, I asked the young lady in the pleasant beige uniform what fruit in season was offered this fine day.

"Bananas!" she replied.

Now I can't be absolutely certain, but I suspect that there are very few bananas grown in Victoria, and even fewer come "in season" during the latter stages of winter there, and when they do, they probably don't put a sticker on them declaring them to be a product of Brazil.

On studying further the language of the menu, my mistake had been to presume the word "local" had been omitted when indeed it had never been intended. By definition, for fruit to be available, it has to be be in season somewhere or it simply wouldn't exist.

It follows then, that the very expression "fresh fruit in season" must rank with the best of the oxymorons.

Like "Microsoft Office Works" or "Civil Engineer".

"Would sir care for some Fresh fruit in season"?

Perhaps not today thanks. Actually what have you got that's out of season?