HALF WAY THERE - WEDNESDAY 21ST JULY - MAASTRICHT TO BOCHOLT

Wind, rain, clouds, partially sunny. with a late storm

In a decision that we would later slightly regret we decided that we could always return in a more relaxed frame of mind and visit Maastricht properly in the future.  If we were going to be sitting in the relative warmth and dry of the boat anyway we may as well be moving. 

A few kilometres into our journey, the sky magically cleared and we felt on top of the world. 

A few kilometres later we passed what might have been an interesting place to visit, but with the bit firmly in our teeth, rolled past confident that there would be many more just like it.

That, in the words of the song, was our mistake.   Tens of kilometres rolled past as the wind increased and sky darkened and the conditions generally deteriorated without a sign of anywhere to stop, nor anywhere to explore.   

When a likely place did turn up it was as usual an awkward mooring, timed perfectly to match the most vicious squall of the day, but after finally securing ourselves, took a deep breath, and wondered why we had left in the first place.

Then as the evening storms rolled in, an explanation for the flatness of our mood suddenly dawned;  We are on our way home.   

Even though we are only half way through our time on the boat, we have a deadline and deadlines change everything.  There are some obstacles to clear on our route so we need some time in reserve lest we are forced to go round them, but for now have to work hard not to be in a rush.

GOT HIS MEASURE - MONDAY 20TH JULY - BREMEN TO MAASTRICHT

We’ve tried to find a way of making toilets fit before.  in cost-benefit terms, the savings of finding something that fits exactly would more than make up for the drive.

As it turned out, with our diversions on the way, getting to the shop was a bonus, which was just as well because after careful measurement and dissection of the seven different varieties on offer (just fifty fewer than Heinz offer) every one of them was exactly wrong.

It’s a big store, and a huge mail order business, with lots of specialists to help so we enlisted the expertise of an affable young man whose usefulness was sadly akin to that of a chocolate teapot.  He was able to demonstrate the latest in silent electric technology, a macerating device that let out a groan of displeasure not unlike that one would expect of a human being pressed into similar service.   The thought of the expressions on suddenly wide awake and terrified guests after a midnight flush was certainly enough to convince us that an electric conversion, no matter how convenient, is no longer part of this discussion.

We thanked him, and set about remeasuring everything in the vain hope that something had changed during our discussion.

Perhaps more toilet confused than before, we were able to pick up a satisfying collection of other “need-to-measure” parts, and made a list to arrange for delivery of others before once more heading towards the southern horizon.

New fangled silent technology may not be so brilliant in mechanical toilets but it really comes into its own on Autobahns, with adaptive cruise control providing just the right number of additional eyes while one pair scans the rear view mirror for Porsches and white vans approaching at two hundred and fifty kilometres per hour.   Almost five hours later, we had returned the car, mission nowhere near accomplished, tired but happy, still basking in the joy of the past few days.

Well one of us was tired but happy, the other, having slept very soundly till at least lunch time, was just happy!

BLIND DATE - SUNDAY 19TH JULY - WUPPERTAL TO OLDENBURG

Anyone with a basic knowledge of German geography, (or an Atlas) might have worked out by now that Wuppertal is not exactly close to Bremen in the far north of Germany, so when the new day arrived we were still several hours of Autobahn away from our destination and a day too early for the shops to open.

However, one of us has been quite heavily involved in recent weeks in the collaborative development of a new CNC machine.   It’s in the prototyping stage presently, with  half a dozen or so people putting in their tuppence worth and there's one (test) machine completed in the USA, and another in Oldenburg, Germany ready to make its first cut.          

“Now there’s a happy surprise - Oldenburg is only forty minutes from the marine toilet shop in Bremen!”

The world of internet communities is a strange and wonderful place, where faceless people appear to hide between pseudonyms, but spend so much time together over the course of any given project that they end up knowing each other almost intimately.   So it was, when bitingmidge met Tokoloshe face to face, after three or four years of collaboration that it was more of a reunion than a first meeting.

We spent hours with Phillipp and Andrea and their happy brood, drinking cups of tea, swapping stories and generally catching up on each other’s lives while poring over the finer details of the new machine and the software, putting it through it’s preliminary paces.  All the while four pairs of tiny feet attached to bodies banging and cutting things for their own projects in the background, never crossing the invisible line that brought them within the “danger zone”.

Eventually, the call of the “new toilet” tugged us away, and we left laden with gifts of precious things; some seashells collected on a holiday, a commemorative plaque made on the new machine, and a deadly shank with a pink handle lovingly crafted in our presence, which would come in handy if we encountered any dragons on our way.

ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT - SATURDAY 20TH JULY - MAASTRICHT TO WUPPERTAL

We were really looking forward to spending the weekend among the crowds, when one of us started talking about replacing the toilets again.   

To be fair, they’ve been on the top of our “to do” list for a decade and a half, and we’ve been terribly hampered by a complete lack of dimensional information which can only be solved by standing in front of a new model with a tape measure and a pad.

The other of us pointed out that there’s a nice marine shop with everything we need in the very far north of Germany, and with a stupid and complete turn around in the weather now forecasting mid thirty degree temperatures, a long drive in an air conditioned car might be just the shot.

We failed entirely to convince the man in the car rental shop that he might consider giving us a last minute deal, but one thing led to another and a few hours later we were sitting by Ele and Jürgen’s pool eating, drinking, taking terrible selfies (are you SURE you got everyone in the picture?), and doing what old friends do to while away a long hot summer evening. 

NEW BEST FRIENDS - FRIDAY 19TH JULY - LIEGE TO MAASTRICHT

Despite what might have been hangovers if we’d been imbibing any sort of liquid other than water, and despite everyone warning us that some banjo guy was playing in Maastricht, that we’d never find a place to stay, that it would be crowded and noisy beyond belief, we snuck out early and quietly and uneventfully made our way downstream.

It’s astonishing what a difference twenty kilometres can make to the character and demeanour of a city.

When we arrived in the early afternoon, Maastricht was indeed humming, crammed to the gills (if it were a fish) with people dressed if not to the nines at least to the seven-point-fives.  The entire old town looked prosperous and cared for and dare I say “clean”?   We tend not to judge cities by cleanliness scores, but the contrast to Liege is astonishing in every respect.

With no particular agenda (and none of the 4,000 tickets to the evening concert available other than the scalper’s 1,000€) we were just setting out for a bit of a reconnaissance when a pair of passers-by introduced themselves.   

One thing led to another as they so often do, and we spent a splendid hour or two circumnavigating the city with Sonya and Phil from Stuttgart, following the walking guide we’d purchased on the way, except for the part around the square of course, noting that there appeared to be standing room only in every one of the bars and restaurants in the city.

Wait till tomorrow they say.  Weekends, they say, are when it gets REALLY busy.

SHABBY CHIC - THURSDAY 18TH JULY - LIEGE

We set off late in the morning for some supplies of course and to a large electrical retailer in search of a vacuum cleaner, or as they say in France rather ominously; an "Aspirateur".  

Downtown was busy, and strangely run down yet not, all at the same time.  As many as two shops out of every three are closed, but of those that remain a fine assortment of very nicely fitted out retail establishments filled with high quality stock which did not seem to align with the dress or mood of those on the street.

In keeping with the overall feeling of the city, the electrical store, did not stock any of the more modestly priced items in its catalogue, just the three or four top line models in the hope that customers in urgent need of aspiration would simply fork out the extra few hundred Euros. 

From all we’ve heard of Liege, we really felt a bit guilty that we didn’t love the place more than two nights’ worth, but we’ll give it another go in time, and one of those nights was a very big one indeed.   

It’s not that there’s nothing to see, quite the contrary in fact, but we finally had a day of summer and we weren’t in the mood to do much at all except hang around with Frank and Els drinking fizzy water and using up our stock of ice cubes until the cool of the evening became the cool of the morning, by which time, despite all encouragement to the contrary, we had decided to move on.  

Sans aspirateur.

FITTING IN - WEDNESDAY 17TH JULY - HUY TO LIEGE

We were reflecting yesterday, on how boats, like houses, cars, and caravans at home, are getting bigger all the time.

This is a curious thing, as it’s quite clear that the skills of the skippers haven’t increased commensurately and we are discovering to our advantage that the spaces left in an apparently crowded mooring are more than enough for more modestly sized craft to squeeze in.

We are more than happy too, to sit on our very modest cruising speed, but it’s surprising what a difference one or two kilometres per hour can make to a day’s travel time.   

Today for instance, we left an hour before most of them, and were the thirteenth pleasure boat to arrive at the first lock, which after about an hour’s wait, had space for two ships, a ferry, and twelve pleasure boats.

During the next half hour or so, another three boats arrived as well as a large ship for us to share with.   The speed differential meant that they were already descending the next lock by the time we arrived, leaving us with the surprising statistic after having travelled for seven hours, of being stationary for three of them.

There are times when of course we would like the added security of perhaps another kilometre or two per hour, and yes, the early bird gets the worm when it comes to finding a place to moor for the night, yet here we are neatly squished between two of the big guys who arrived hours before we did, and for a day or two at least, tied to the dock, we’ll be cruising at exactly the same speed.