Legends from our own lunchtimes

Monday, July 08, 2013

Some advice for my boating friends.
Deluz to Baume-les-Dames

1) If you think the size of your boat is a reflection of your masculinity, there is always someone who is more masculine than you.

2) The rules of the waterways are fairly clear: Commercial vessels have absolute right of way.

3) No matter how hard you try, you cannot stare down the skipper of a fully laden Peniche if he is sitting in his wheelhouse forty metres from where you are.

4) If you invite the fully laden Peniche to take you on after your five minutes of trying to stare him down doesn't work, he will take you up on that offer.

5) No matter how powerful you think your three storey Gin Palace is, it will not win a pushing competition with a three hundred and eighty ton barge.

6) If you are going to have a pushing competition with a three hundred and eighty ton barge, it's probably best not to do it in front of an audience of former bargees, and pleasure boaters who happen to have a good deal of respect for the few remaining commercial barge operators.

The mooring place in Baume-les-Dames is along a narrow channel and in such situations users of the waterway are usually extremely cautious and mindful of one another.    Just how the scantily clad gentleman thought that it would be even possible for the barge to reverse for over a kilometre so that he did not have to pull over for a few moments was never explained to us, and it appeared that the friendly Gendarmes were having difficulty understanding as well.

When it was over, we were surprised that the equally scantily clad ladies aboard the miscreant vessel hadn't jumped to the more masculine one, (actually given the general physique and demeanour of Mrs Bargee we weren't all that surprised),  but we did wonder if after a bit of reflection, they'll still love Mr Budgie Smuggler in the morning.

That dear readers, is how we came to be late for dinner


1 comment

Boatmik said...


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